Checking out of a Cult

A cult is any group that holds you mentally and spiritually hostage and lies to you about truth.

The first sign you’re in a cult is when you’re told (quite often) you’re not part of a cult, and they usually have a darn good argument to prove their point. Cults work hard to debunk the theory that they are a cult or a sect.

Ironically, even after you leave a cult, you might continue to deny you were ever in a cult. Admitting the "cult" part is really, really hard. Especially if you’ve defended your cult for years, lost friends, family members over it, created strife for your children who were marginalized for being “different,” and the list goes on. It’s hard to reconcile with the fact that you christened your child into a cult and their cannons. That’s scary stuff.

Frankly I’m surprised there aren’t more suicides by people who leave them. It’s an isolating experience because you have no where to go. The last thing many ex-cult members can accept is another teaching, church or philosophy. Everyone becomes suspect. They can roam around for years in a state of denial. Some people might become atheists because they just don’t want to take a chance that they’ll get it wrong again.

You have to understand that part of being in a cult is watching out for the kooks in Christianity to justify your cult. You also know, and sometimes memorize all the gruesome suffering that’s come in the name of Jesus Christ. Christians call it apologetics, cults call it TRUTH.

Their ego is gigantic. They probably think they're God, and well, what can you do with that?

The minute someone utters the word "cult" people in them tend to shut down, turn off, walk out and disassociate with the word. You might stop reading right HERE. That’s because the word CULT immediately brings to mind Charlie Manson and Jones Town, and, well, you’re certainly are not part of something so evil. That’s front page news evil. That kind of evil isn’t so insidious. It takes out a few people and it’s over.

Savvy cults aren’t run by psychotics; they’re run by ordinary folks. Nice folks. Good looking people with pleasant homes and nice cars. They live next door. They take care of your cat when you’re on vacation and bring you casseroles when you’re sick. They’re your friend, your brother, your mother. They could be just about anyone, and that’s really daunting.

The good news, and please excuse the opportunity to use that phrase, is that I was inspired to write about my own experience and you'll see more of it here in the times to come.

Being a writer, I've never had a problem telling my stories, but this wasn't something I could so easily write about. I had to face some truths that were painful. One doesn’t just walk away from a belief system. When you’re taught something, study, mediate, focus on something for years, it takes root. You might cut the weeds by no longer attending, but the roots are still down in the dirt and it doesn’t take much water to sprout doubts.

Here's what I can say for sure I can show another cult member the way out. It's not by preaching the Bible to them. Cult members can't hear that truth. They're brainwashed into thinking they're special and chosen. That's a powerful, euphoric emotion. The road to Damascus for cult members isn't usually revelation.